August 13, 2017

What a Day!

Yesterday was filled with woman power, meaningful conversations, and some damn good coffee!

It was a GOOD day...mostly.

Early solo swim to get the kinks out and the peace in.

Was joined by pregnant niece, sister-in-law and, later, mother-in-law.  We sculpted a baby bump belly for beautiful Mari.  Baby girl inside moved all around and settled in to mommy's left side, with head or tushie prominently protruding!

Is it possible that the newest member of our family was mooning us?  It's definitely in the DNA!

The final sculpture is true to Mari's belly; big curve and little bump to the left and flat on the right.

Next step in decorating baby girl's room? Mari will paint sculpture (will probably be dry enough to paint by the time baby is in middle school). Then we will do casings of mommy's and daddy's profiles, painting accordingly!

Wonderful 'village elder's" talk about birth, lactation, expectations and all that stuff that baby showers evolved from, only to go on to silly games of crossing legs, not saying 'baby', and worst of all, sniffing diapers smeared with candy bars and guessing which is a Mars bar and what if a Twixt. Very helpful for sharing the wealth of knowledge  that experienced mother's hold.

Best advice:
Listen to advice but trust your gut, mommy always knows best for her own child.
When you go into labor stay home as long as you can.
When in hospital, the nurses are going to make you lay on your back to place monitors.  Do what is best for you. Monitors only need to be checked every 15 minutes or so. If walking is best for you, walk. If standing in the shower relieves discomfort, shower. Take a strong-ass warrior into labor room with you who will make sure you have an delegate (especially 1st time mommies). After your first baby, you become your own kick-ass advocate.
Gently bounce on large yoga ball for weeks leading up to labor and after baby is born, Yoga ball is awesome tool for putting baby to sleep, burping, soothing, etc. Hold baby in arms and gently bounce...great for backs of mommies, daddies and nana's!

Some ideas we talked about for painting cast:

Later in afternoon, my best friend for the last 38 years, Julie, came over. She was my Maid-of-Honor at our wedding, truly the best friend anyone could have. I love her.

Best Maid of Honor ever!

We have been through some 'stuff' together and that makes us both thankful to all the gods above that there were no cell phone cameras or social media in the early days. Skinny dipping in Whiskeytown Lake on a cold summer's day, drinking bottles (many) of wine while we sat on the front planter wall at my old house in Palo Cedro. We moved her whole house of furniture, all by ourselves, years and years ago; hooked up the washer and dryer, moved the fridge, built the crib, packed and unpacked boxes. We then celebrated with a large bottle of Almaden French Colombard.

As we matured (no laughing, I'm serious) we stopped smoking (years and years ago!),  we drink far less wine (with a 'praise the Lord' from our livers), and Julie has cleaned up her language quite a bit more than I  have.  My f-bombs are probably thrown four or five times the amount of hers but I'm working on it (no, not really, that's a lie! ).

I threw her a baby shower a little more than 35 years ago. We moved her daughter to Oregon about 15 years ago to attend college. We actually even worked together for a short period of time at a home health care agency. I warned her, when she applied, that it was not a pleasant atmosphere. The administrator was a bit of a monster (Cruella DeVille of Health Care). She got the job therefore, we shared many liquid lunches.  We even introduced some of our workmates how glorious a 2 martini lunch was. The atmosphere in the workplace greatly least afternoons did!

Now that we live in town, Julie lives less than a quarter mile from us. We see each other often, talk lots and conversations are always deep, meaningful and totally loving.

Julie is moving! She had an offer she would be nuts to refuse in Oregon. She will head out October 1!  You may not understand this, after I've told you how much she means to me, but I am soooooo happy for her. The details of the move are out of this world. The home she will be living in is a little bit of paradise; spent a long weekend with Julie and a couple of friends a year ago in the house and DID NOT want to leave it.

We cried a little yesterday, had a little glass of ice cold Riesling to toast the new opportunities opening up for her (and the fact that I have a place to stay when I ever I go. I will be going often).

I guess we will both be getting very familiar with Facetime. Best part is, she has seen me at my worst, so she can call before I comb my hair and wash my face and probably won't even notice!!!

Life evolves, changes are inevitable.

Good luck, my friend. You will thrive in your new surroundings. I will miss you but you are only 1 speed dial away and a beautiful drive of canyons, mountains and vineyards to see you.  You will always be my Bestie!

Congratulations Portland! You are gaining an incredible woman! Welcome her with open arms.


  1. Incredible loving story of you and your best friend. I loved all the cast paintings. They were great.

    1. Thank you. There really isn't anything quite like a nurturing, loving relationship!

      I love doing castings. My granddaughters and I did face castings and painted them to represent how we define ourselves individually. So much fun!

  2. When we care about someone as much as you care for this friend, we are happy for them and their successes. Even when those changes break our heart. Such a lovely post!

  3. A wonderful post. I look forward to hearing about the new baby, and good luck to your friend. The castings are gorgeous, too.

  4. I have never heard of casting the baby bump, but what a sweet idea.

    Some of my good friends have moved south to be near their children and grandchildren. I understand and wish them the best, but still my heart breaks.

  5. Beautiful Toni....simply beautiful♥

  6. I've never seen or heard of pregnancy casting like that, but those are awesome! Best of luck!

  7. The baby bumps castings were quite unique and creative and I too had never seen these before, which really doesn't mean a lot. I know how it is with best-est friends as 2 of mine are still living in my native NJ and we've relocated to New England. We stay in touch by phone, emails, cards in between face-to-face visits. Oregon will be a great place to visit!


    I loved bit of it.
    i have two school friends and our friendship sustained through letters !
    i still believe that nothing can convey the message beautifully as "letter did or can do"

    you are looking so beautiful as maid of honor and your smile is really captivating!!!

    i only saw such belly in movies lol.


Comment Please but Play Nice!